"The Straight Talk Express" is a nonstop trip to hilarity

Man, am I glad Sen. John McCain is the Republican nominee for president. I'm not a big fan of his policies, and I'm not sure I buy that stuff about his being a "Maverick," and I'm definitely not one of those schmoes who actually roots for his enemy because he would be "the easiest to beat." The last time Democrats united behind an ideal enemy, they crossed party lines to help Ronald Reagan get the party nomination. We all know how well that worked out.

No, I'm happy McCain's the guy, but my main reason is simple: his bus, "The Straight Talk Express," has the most potential for ironic retitling/sloganizing. Within a few weeks of his big primary wins I had already heard pundits says the following:

"The straight talk express took a wrong turn."
"Somewhere down the road the wheels fell off the straight talk express."
and even
"The straight talk express has derailed."

I'm pretty sure the last one is a mixed metaphor.

The blog-o-sphere is doing its best to keep up. Today I read a post that claimed McCain's Straight Talk Express had "run off the road and slammed into the out house."

See, the idea is that the name of McCain's bus represents straightforwardnesses, but many people feel he is not always very straightforward. So metaphorically, when bad things happen to the Straight Talk Express" it's like saying McCain has let people down. Get it? It's funny.

The best part is, these metaphors can only get crazier. Think of all the zany things buses can do! By the end of the month, people will be saying things like:

"The Straight Talk Express got lost in the ghetto and ran over a hooker!"
"The Straight Talk Express is lost in space"
"The Straight Talk Express gets poor mileage, since its a bus, and therefore a contributor to the steady influx of greenhouse gases into our atmosphere ... which contributes to global warming."
"The Straight Talk Express has an illegal immigrant driver who will take your job."
"The Straight Talk Express is going gay."
"The Straight Talk Express: Next stop, Hollywood."

This is going to be great...