Summer Reading

My summer is about three class days away from its official beginning, and I'm becoming increasingly eager to start my summer reading. To the skeptic, it may seem ridiculous for a PhD in English to anticipate this aspect of his life, but, as I've explained to many people, studying literature kind of turns reading into a job. For me anyway, I find myself reading a lot of stuff I'm not supposed to enjoy ... in a way that barely resembles what the average person would considering "reading." What I do, you might more accurately describe as reading's ugly cousin.

Finally, with summer arriving, I have a list of books that I hope will be fun to read. This list is more wish list than a commitment, but I hope to tackle as many of these as possible. I can add, delighted, that none of these are meant to help me become a better graduate student, though they might just happen to do so. I'm not reading anything I don't want to read.

1. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy. The Oprah has spoken. When Oprah tells you to read a book, you must obey. In all seriousness, this book is about a father and son traversing the burned remains of a nuclear apocalypse. It's right up my alley.

2. The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula K. LeGuin. This book is considered one of the first major works of feminist sci fi (according to wikipedia anyway).

3. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen. I'm always complaining that I don't like nineteenth-century British fiction, and the inevitable retort is always, "have you read Pride and Prejudice?" No, I haven't, but I will. If I don't like it, it's not my fault. I'm just saying.

4. The Beekeeper's Apprentice, by Laurie R. King. This is an updated rewrite of the Sherlock Holmes saga. An intelligent young woman becomes his protege.

5. Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card. I've been meaning to read this for a very long time but never got around to it.

6. A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers, by Henry David Thoreau. Like Walden only longer and more pensive, I can't promise to make it all the way through this one. But I wanted to check it out.

7. Valis, Philip K. Dick. "A theological detective story" (back cover) by the author whose various writings led to the movies Blade Runner, A Scanner Darkly, Paycheck, and Minority Report. I wanted to read one of Dick's books, preferably one not based on a movie I've already seen. Extra preferably one not based on a Ben Affleck movie.

8. The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, by Michael Chabon. Another book I've long been meaning to read, this one's about the creators of a comic book "Golden Age" of comics.

Others, if I have time.
9. The Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.
10. Epileptic
11. Roughing It
12. Everything is Illuminated
13. Nothing by Faulkner
14. Nothing by Stein
15. Nothing by Derrida
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Anyone else got any good recommendations?
Anyone reading the same books this summer?
Anyone already read something one my list and want to warn me to stay away?
Do tell.

Is "Presidenting" as Hard as Will Ferrell Says It Is?

Remember the Saturday Night Live skit from December 2000, just after the US Supreme Court appointed George W. Bush president? SNL's gore (played by Darrell Hammond) sits down with SNL's Bush (played by Will Ferrell) at a Chili's in Washington DC. Bush can't decide what to order (or maybe he just can't pronounce what he's trying to order) and he remarks, "Arghhh, presidenting is hard!!!"

If you don't remember this skit, don't worry. There won't be a quiz. I mention it mostly because I was recently named one of three presidents of the University of Iowa's Association of Graduate Students in English ... or AGSE if you will. (Congratulations to my two co-presidents, Anna Stenson and Stephanie Blalock.)

This much appreciate piece of good news reminded me of a favorite Calvin and Hobbes comic from long ago. Calvin's father, in a classically futile move, tries to award Calvin an allowance, explaining up front that authority and responsibility go hand in hand. Observe:

Is it odd that being named president reminded me of Calvin's devilish reaction? No. It simply points to humanity's occasionally Machiavellian nature. Power corrupts.

Luckily for anyone concerned, I resemble Calvin in several ways. Like a young boy with a quarter, the power I wield is minuscule. I have no nominating powers, no veto authority, no wiretapping privileges, no personalized escort or entourage. No finger on the button. No interns. I've never claimed to be the decider, and the buck, if it stops at all, stops far, far away from my desk.

In all seriousness, I look forward to the position. Hopefully it won't interfere with my long established commitment to aloofness, laziness, procrastination, whimsical tomfoolery, and head-in-the-clouds foolishness.

Done! Or am I?

Well, Exam Week at the University of Iowa has come to a close, which can mean only one thing. Everyone's finished, right?

Fat chance. Like many people, I'm sure, I took the alternate route to completion this semester and asked one of my professors for the weekend to finish my 20-page paper on Graham's Magazine.
I finished a draft of the paper Friday but felt I needed the weekend to make it presentable. I plan to turn it in Monday.

But then I'll be done, right?

No. Then I have to make up my research assistant work, which I have been slacking on to do my paper. Plus summer school starts Monday, so I'll have a class Mon-Thurs, 1-4. Sometimes I feel a little trapped. I whipped up this image to convey my emotions...

What do "Lucky Charms" and Alcoholism have in Common?

Ten Things "Lucky Charms" and Alcoholism have in Common

1. Unfairly associated with Irish people
2. Both feature "pink moons"
3. Magically delicious
4. Both make me see an imaginary Leprechaun
5. TV makes both seem cooler than they are
6. Both turn milk greenish brown
7. Three words: Best weekend ever
8. Both integral to structure of American family
9. Both featured in Anna Nicole Smith's posthumously published dieting book
10. Two "puke-tacular" institutions

Out-takes from the Out-of-the-Shower Media Photo

If you saw the story "Out-of-the-Shower Media Challenges Pajama Media to West-Side-Story-Style Rumble," you may have noticed the weird image of a guy with a towel on his head. (If you haven't see it yet, check it out here.)

Many will know immediately that this is a picture of me. I simply put a towel around my head like I had just gotten out of the shower and washed in a red background to make it look more warlike.

So, to answer your first question, no I wasn't naked when I took the photo. Moving on.

The process of creating that photo has a funny story to it. I wanted to mask my identity because I thought the photo was weird. Everything I tried to do, however, made the image look like a recruitment poster for Al Qaida.

Let me make this clear. I am not a terrorist and condemn all terrorist acts. Also, I think it's lame that people automatically associate Muslims and/or Arabs with terrorism. It's not a fair stereotype. That said, I was concerned that my "Out of the Shower Media" goof would somehow imply connection to terrorism. Decide for yourself:

Out-take 1	Out-take 2
Out-take 3	Out-take 4

As you can see from this range of images, each variation attempted to make it less obvious that I had used a photograph of myself. But every time I tried something new, it looked psychotic. The first one blurs the detail enough to look like I was attempting a poorly conceived parody of bin Laden. The worst one was probably Number 2, which looks like a stone engraving of a dude on angel dust. (Plus, the eyes look like the satanic rabbit from "Night of the Lepus.") The third one looks like a sandstone pillar, and last one still looks like me; I just have glow in the dark veins.

I'll be the first to admit that this entire association could be imaginary, but I don't think so. I have a feeling that at least one in every ten people would have thought I was trying to make some connection to the war on terror. And it would have been even worse if I'd gone with my original headline idea: "Out-of-the-Shower Media Declares Fatwa on Pajama Media."