Bad puns + Heresy = $$

On a recent trip to Boulder I noticed a shop called Zen and Now. This is why I can't stand Boulder. Clean hippies have always rubbed me the wrong way, and there's something suspicious about a town where the bums hold signs with pleas like "Too young for medicare, too old for women to care."

I don't know what is sold at Zen and Now, but I do know that retail has about as much to do with Zen as eggnog has to do with Easter. Even so, continuing the spirit of blasphemy for profit, here are a few ideas of my own:

Jehovah Hut Coffee Shop
Bible study groups meet at 10am.

Yahweh or the Highway
New dashboard navigation devices in stock

Bah'ai Now, PayAg'in Later Credit Services
Okay, this one's a stretch

Clear Confucian Senior Living
Honoring your senile elders doesn't mean you have to live with them

Taze Allah! Securities, inc.
Winning the war on terrorism starts in the home.

Holey Cross Recycled Wood
It's still sturdy enough for your son's treehouse

I reserve the right to royalties from any of these.