Rejected McSweeny's Submission

Inspired by Lavin, we have our own list to post here. Truth be told, this one can't actually qualify as "rejected" because we never heard back. Months have passed, however, so we can assume it falls into the category of "not worth a rejection notice."

Things I Wish the Person Sitting Next to Me on My Flight Home From Spring Break Had Given Me Instead of the Stomach Flu

the window seat

some Starbursts

an interesting newspaper article to read

a partially done cross-word puzzle

the wrappers from the Starbursts he ate without offering me any

the evil eye

a swift kick in the shin