A Word to the Whiners

The fact is, nobody likes a whiner. Even whiners don't like other whiners, because a whiner doesn't listen, and the primary function of whining is to garner attention and sympathy. Unfortunately, it's easy to slip into the habit of grousing. Besides, part of life is certainly talking about the little bumps and hiccups we encounter along the way. So, how do you tell, really, if you are over-doing it? How do you ensure that you save your gripes for the things that matter instead of using up everyone's sympathy and capacity to listen to you moan on all the wrong things?

Vitzydorf has compiled a list of questions for you to ask yourself before speaking in your next conversation. Consult this list every time you are about to contribute, and if your planned comment answers "yes" to any of the queries below, stop speaking immediately.

1) Does it feel like your voice is going to come out an octave higher, and more squeaky than usual?
2) Are you the victim of the story?
3) Does it involve a negative observation regarding the weather?
4) Did you already say this to several other people today?
5) Are you responding to someone's comment about something bad that happened to them by saying that something that happened to you was a whole lot worse?
6) Is your comment irrelevant to the conversation?
7) Are you feeling annoyed because no one is talking about you?
8) Does the story involve casting people no one present has ever met in a bad light?
9) Has the person you are talking to started backing away and casting furtive glances at the exit?
10) Are you countering someone else's positive spin with your own negative one?

While some of these criteria may illustrate other social faux-pas' in your character, if you answer yes to these questions frequently, you might want to consider a change of strategy when interacting with other people. Some tips to help make you a less negative and self-centered - replace "I" with "you" and "bad" with "good" whenever possible. Ask questions more frequently than you answer them, and if you are going to complain about something, first, evaluate honestly whether or not you'll still be upset about it in a week. Don't talk about it if you won't be.

After following these rules for a very short time, you'll have gained the reputation of a good conversationalist. Unfortunately, after that you'll probably spend most of your time listening to other people whine.